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On the back of your personal details sheet if you choose to become an Aspen Springs Hypnotherapy client is The Magic Fairy Wish List and ‘Selfish’ is something a lot of people tick for the things they wish to alter about themselves.

This wish list forms a potted history of their views of their place in their world and they seem to think that being selfish is a demerit, that it says something mean about them that they wish to eliminate.

In fact ‘selfish’ is replaced by the computer generated synonyms with:- self-centred, self-seeking, self-interested, egotistical, egotistic and egocentric with the antonym as altruistic which can be replaced with: unselfish, humane, selfless, and philanthropic.

A synonym is a word having the same significance as another, the antonym being its opposite.

I would like to seriously argue against these authorities!

My argument is simply this, that a well rounded, person who is secure in their own centre, enjoys being selfish because they have a secure sense of self.

They are happy and comfortable with the fact that when they truly love themselves then they can truly love others without their ego screaming for attention. That when their inner self is content then they can freely give to others, not needing a return on the gift, i.e. ‘brownie points’.

If your own inner voice or people around you scream, ‘you’re selfish’, ‘you must share’ or ‘you cannot put yourself first’, then you can now recognise these voices as insecure bullies afraid that you have the confidence that they dare not consider.

These guilt trips are to be recognised as the external pressures of others, even if you have accepted and internalised these attitudes from the authority figures of your innocent and gullible youth.

Consider this next thought as a variation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which in principle states that one must satisfy lower needs before being able to appreciate a higher level. So, for that reason, when travelling by air, you are always advised, indeed instructed, to apply your own oxygen mask before that of your much loved child or fragile baby.

While understanding the cold practicality of this, I feel I would have to fight hard to comply with these essential instructions.

Therefore in order to take the ego out of self-centred, self-seeking, self-interested, then your ‘self’ has to be secure, satisfied and content so that you can go forwards with the synonyms of philanthropic which are generous, big-hearted, altruistic, benevolent, charitable, giving and good hearted.

Consequently you do not need to grow into the insecure guilt trip of others to avoid being selfish, but into the selfishness of completing your inner journey to yourself, that is knowing and accepting yourself and your boundaries, before your can truly let your generosity flow out freely to others.

Being secure in your boundaries also enables you to say. No,’ with integrity!

Being unable to say, ‘No’ is also on my Magic Fairy Dust list.

One of the other points of this list is that sometimes I can slip in extra healing if I know that it is appropriate for you.

January 2007




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Article by: Mureen Hunt

Mureen Hunt

Aspen Springs Hypnotherapy
St. Mark's Street

Tel: 01733 342659


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